Six Things You Shouldn't Do on Craigslist (rant)

"Ross Kraz" (ropstafer)
03/04/2016 at 14:00 • Filed to: craigslist, rant

Lunch hour, commercials, before bed, poop breaks... if there is nothing better to do at any given moment, you can bet that I (like many other Opponauts) am perusing local Craigslist sites for my next adventure in Hoontown. It’s fantastic to see what people drive and what people have built.
After looking at thousands of ads over the years, however, certain small annoyances have evolved into a frothing rage within me that needs to be vented. Maybe I’m overreacting. I don’t know. Maybe I’m expecting too much from average Craigslist user. But it’s 2016, dag nubbit, and you should know how to internet by now . Here is my list of pet peeves for Craigslist car ads.

1) Posting in the incorrect category

Stop posting your “24 inch DUBS” under Cars and Trucks. There is an Auto Parts category for a reason. And no, I did not click on Motorcycles to find your jetski. Occasionally you will find furniture or video games in completely different fields, but wheel and tire sellers are probably the biggest violator of this rule.

2) Vague titles

“Clean car - $2000" “REDUCED - $1500"
Please list what your car is in the title of your posting. Yes, you successfully tricked me into clicking on your ad, which is usually a very plain, boring, 90's sedan. But anyone who is actually interested in BUYING that hideous hunk of junk (no offense to Buick owners) would have clicked on it anyway. So, stop wasting my time and raising my blood pressure.

3) $1 prices/abbreviated prices

First of all in regards to pricing: if you are posting a car, you should at least have a vague idea of the price you want to get for it. If you are completely clueless, try Kelly Blue Book or Haggerty. Second, don’t post it as $1, or abbreviate thousands in single/double digits. For example: “1970 Pontiac GTO Fully Restored! - $25". All this does is make your $25000 car, which is way above my budget, show up in my search for an inexpensive daily driver or project. I tell you what, man, I will double the price for you and give you a nice green $50 bill.

!!! UNKNOWN HEADER TYPE (MULTI-LINE BREAK?) !!!

I personally have a few saved searches that I use to narrow the results based on the types of vehicles I am interested in, such as 4WD or a manual transmission or vehicles older than a certain year. If you don’t fill out that information, out of pure laziness, you are only cheating yourself out of potential buyers. And make the information correct. Don’t title your post with V6 and then say it has 4 cylinders in the info boxes. Which is it?

!!! UNKNOWN HEADER TYPE (MULTI-LINE BREAK?) !!!

THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST INFURIATING THING IN CAR ADS. How do you not know how to spell your own car?!?! You own it and drive it. It’s probably even written on it somewhere! Hey look, there it is! Right on the trunk lid! Well I’ll be...
Carolla is incorrect. So is Elcameeno. Monty Carlo, although humorous, is also wrong unless the car been customized as a tribute to John Cleese.

Sadly, the most common is probably “Camero”. CAMERO. HOW?! To own a Camaro, you have to be at least a little, teensy bit of a gearhead and should be offended by this blasphemy. If you really aren’t sure, use the Googles!

!!! UNKNOWN HEADER TYPE (MULTI-LINE BREAK?) !!!

Almost every cool, classic car that needs a little love is accompanied by four words: “Engine and transmission removed”. I don’t understand this. If the engine comes with, why did you take it out in the first place? I believe there are gremlins at work here - little green gremlins that run around and take the engines out of cars right before the owner decides to sell them.

That, or people really give up on their projects easily. “Well, I’ll just take the motor out and rebuild it.” *takes motor out* “Ahhh yeah I’m lost. Time to post it on Craigslist for someone else to figure out. Good thing I didn’t waste any time by labeling anything during the removal process.” That guys name is probably Ted. Do you see anything wrong here, Ted?

END RANT. Help me clean up Craigslist. There’s enough spammers on there to make it frustrating as is; the decent human beings who use it should show some respect to fellow users and never commit these crimes against Craig.

On a side note, I cannot read the word “Camero” without picturing Rick Grimes saying “CORAL”. And now you won’t either. You’re welcome.

DISCUSSION (23)

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:09

I always spam the assholes who put in abbreviated prices.

Decay buys too many beaters > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:10

You know what’s even worse, the fuckers who fill out “keywords” in the bottom of the ad for their piece of shit car. There is no way I’m going to buy your 90's trailblazer that popped up in my search for “E46", I will however mercilessly prank call you and flag your ad until the problem is rectified.

Decay buys too many beaters > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
03/04/2016 at 14:12

As do I, I’ve even met with them once or twice with “cash in hand”

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Decay buys too many beaters
03/04/2016 at 14:14

Yep, flag them.

Meatcoma > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:24

the tires... you type in a size and you get spammed with multiple different sizes because some douche dealer has put every single size into the keywords....

Meatcoma > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:24

I think that tatoo pic has been shopped. They just flipped the a.

BigBlock440 > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:25

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

My number 1 right here.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Decay buys too many beaters
03/04/2016 at 14:35

Especially because there’s no such thing as a 90's trailblazer....

...I’ll see my self out now lol

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Decay buys too many beaters
03/04/2016 at 14:35

lol

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:36

The prices piss me off the most.

Let’s think about how that could possibly help you. If I’m looking for a nice $25,000 car I put a bottom end on the price search. If I search at 25k you better believe I’m not looking at cars worth less than 15.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:37

I also love - “runs and drives great!.....transmission bad only goes in reverse” WTF which is it

Also, engine’s bad transmission is perfect. How the hell would you know the trans is solid if you can’t keep it running long enough to go through the gears?!

Decay buys too many beaters > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
03/04/2016 at 14:39

Oh good god you’re right, I’d always assumed it was a mid 90's car based on styling

wow they were waaay behind the curve.

CobraJoe > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:46

“Very clean”

With pictures taken with both dents and rust on the body and trash on the seats.

Ross Kraz > Meatcoma
03/04/2016 at 14:51

Nice catch, I didn't notice that. Still a dumb tattoo.

just-a-scratch > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:54

Kinja'd!!!

Why you gotta call me out like that?

Urambo Tauro > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 14:54

I think I read somewhere that Craigslist requires the seller to post a price, even if the seller doesn’t have a number in mind. Which means that every “make me an offer” has to be assigned a false price just to be able to post the ad. Is that true?

Urambo Tauro > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
03/04/2016 at 14:57

Flag them but let the seller know why first .

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Decay buys too many beaters
03/04/2016 at 14:58

Well they did slap Trailblazer on the ass of some of the Blazers in the early 2000's which were based on a design from what, 95? The standalone Trailblazer (shares the styling with the Envoy) was definitely mid 00's though.

just-a-scratch > Decay buys too many beaters
03/04/2016 at 14:58

Most of the offences here are ignorance related. I have a minimal tolerance for that. But listing a bunch of keywords that have nothing to do with what you’re selling is some putrid crud.

functionoverfashion > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 15:18

Kinja'd!!!

Shady used car dealers are maybe worse than actual humans. ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME WE FINANCE ANYONE!!!!!!!!! NO CREDIT BAD CREDIT OK!!!!!

Meatcoma > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 15:40

Agreed.

luvMeSome142 & some Lincoln! > Ross Kraz
03/04/2016 at 16:18

#1 one is like an easter egg. You just know nobody is calling them about whatever it is. Time for the lowball offer!

Ross Kraz > luvMeSome142 & some Lincoln!
03/04/2016 at 16:52

That's a good point. You could use it to your advantage if it's something you actually need.